Remember your mother’s old advice when it came to meeting and dating girls? “Be yourself.”
Yeah, throw that out the window.
We’re not saying that you can’t be yourself on a casual dating site. We’re not saying that there’s anything wrong with you, or that you couldn’t get a date by being yourself.
We’re just saying that most of the time, getting dates is a hell of a lot easier if you don’t mind stretching the truth every once in a while.
Look, this is CASUAL. You don’t have to write a book about your life story, because no girl wants to read it for a guy she’s just hooking up with. That’s not why you’re here, and that’s not why she’s here.
You can be whoever you want.
No, you probably shouldn’t pretend to be Steve Jobs’ long lost son, but a little embellishment here and there never hurt anyone. More than that, it’s actually going to be more fun for her, too-then she gets to think that she’s going out with basically a slightly better, more fun, more successful version of you instead of the you that goes to work every morning.
The fantasy is awesome.
This is something that is just part of casual dating. Accept the fact that she might be embellishing things a little bit on her end, too. For example, she might be claiming to be a college professor if she’s really a high school teacher, or to not have been divorced when she has, or any number of things.
The beauty of it is that it doesn’t MATTER. You’re never going to see her again, so what’s the harm?
Besides, this gives you leeway to do the exact same thing, within reason. You always want to keep stretching the truth to a believable low amount, so you don’t ever get caught in a lie.
Invent a persona-and stick to it.
You should create your casual sex dating persona like you’re creating a character for a novel. You don’t have to have a whole huge backstory worked out (it’s best to be as honest as you can before getting into the nitty gritty), but you should have the basics down.
A few things you should know about your persona before you start using it in online dating are:
1. Your job
2. Your income level
3. A couple significant life events
Now, you don’t have to TELL your date all of these things! That could come across a little bit like you’re playing a role, if you start immediately talking like, “Hey, did I say I’m a lawyer? Also I make a comfortable living, enough that I recently paid off my house. Want to hear about my recent promotions, vacations, and family events?”
No one wants to go home with that guy.
You just want to have enough things planned out that when a girl asks you a question, you don’t have to ever say, “Uhhhh….”
Don’t go overboard.
Our casual sex strategies do NOT require you to tell a bunch of tall tales or massive stories. No one wants to hear about the time you went to the moon. In fact, you don’t have to really make up STORIES at all, as long as you know what you’re going to say before you say it.
Basically, don’t act irresponsible. Use this time wisely, and come up with any stories before you go out with this girl. There’s no more uncomfortable position than being stuck in a lie.
Do you use your real name?
This is a good question. For your casual dating persona, you could very well decide to use a different name, either to keep yourself safe or just for the fun of the thrill.
However, we recommend that you use your real first name, or at least a name close enough to your own that you’ll still turn your head when someone calls it. Remember, you can never be too careful about accidentally running in to someone you know.
Keep your story straight, and keep your white lies small. That way everyone gets to have a good time. You’re being the best version of yourself, and she’s getting a guy that knows how to work what he’s got!