There are probably some things that are really important for you to try in bed. Unfortunately, maybe the chick you’re hooking up with isn’t that into the idea when you first put it out there. It’s time to give up and move on to something or someone else, right?
We said in our guide to discussing a hookup with a potential date that you shouldn’t try to bully a chick into giving you what you want in bed, and we stand by that.
However, it is possibly to EASE or GENTLY PUSH a woman into a state where she’s a lot more likely to try the things you want her to try. You just have to know how to do it right, or you run the risk of totally turning her off of trying ANYTHING interesting in bed.
This only works in certain occasions, on certain kinds of girls.
There’s one type of girl that this works really well on: girls that want really bad to be kinky, but haven’t ever had the chance. If a girl has told you that she’s never been kinky and she DOESN’T say that she’s appalled or really weirded out by it, you can probably be confident that she’ll like at least a few things once she gets to try them out.
Ease her into it.
The easiest way to freak a girl out into NOT wanting to try anything else is by forcing her into something she doesn’t want to do. First of all, don’t be that guy. No one likes that guy. Second of all, this is the easiest way to get a girl to be SURE she doesn’t like anything kinky, so she’ll hate you and whoever she hooks up with after you will hate you.
It’s best to start slow, because you can always speed up later. Remember, you have to listen really well when you’re being kinky, especially with a girl who hasn’t done much kink before.
But honestly, if a girl wants to try something? She’s probably wanted to try it for a while, but didn’t have anyone to do it with, or wasn’t sure she REALLY wanted to try it. You can get away with encouraging her quite a bit, as long as you’re not a dick about it.
Try using baby steps.
Just because you can get her to do just about anything doesn’t mean you should start out that way. Start her slow, with things that almost anyone would agree to, and earn her trust that way. Then, you can work your way up to whatever your ultimate kinky goal is.
For example, if you want her to try out a little light (and safe, and consensual) bondage, ask her if she’ll try out a blindfold first. This is a much gentler, easier way of letting go of some sexual control, and women are usually pretty receptive to it.
If you think she’s going to balk at the idea, offer to do whatever it is yourself first. If she isn’t sure she’s comfortable wearing a blindfold, offer to do it for a few minutes until you both get a feel for it.
Never suggest she does something that you wouldn’t do yourself, for her, at any time.
Yes, it’s fine to have kinks, but you have to be careful when you’re gentling a woman into accepting your kinks. Above all, you don’t want to say anything like, “No, I can’t wear the blindfold, I want to be the one in charge,” or, “I want to be the one controlling you.”
Women don’t want to hear that. They want to hear how much fun something is going to be. They want to hear that they’re going to look sexy as hell decked out in whatever it is, and that you’re going to appreciate the effort they’re spending on your kink.
It’s important to get a girl to try this kind of thing out. However, it’s just as important to know when to back off.
You don’t want to surprise or frighten a girl that you’re trying to go home with, before or after you get into bed with her. Doing that is a one way ticket out the door and home-if you’re lucky.
If you’re not lucky, you could wind up with a very upset girl on you hands, which could be bad news tonight and further down the line if you really overstep yourself. If she takes too much pushing as being too aggressive, you could wind up not just out of luck for the night, but banned from the site where you met this girl.
You could even wind up in trouble with the LAW, so it’s best not to push it. Women sometimes overreact when they feel threatened, so we have to do our best to make sure they never feel that way.
Go further when she says go, stop when she says stop, keep on track!