How to Discuss a Hookup With a Potential Date

Now that you’ve already dealt with finding the best hookup sites and you know how to talk to women (and if not, read our guides to the best hookup site and how to talk to women), you probably think you’re ready to go on your first hookup date, right?

Not so fast.

Before you leave the house, you have to talk about SEVERAL things with your potential hookup-BEFORE you meet her in person, just to make sure everything will go well.

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Don’t worry, this is the fun part of the hookup talking stage! This is the part where both of you get to discuss your kinks and fantasies.

In other words, this is where you talk about what you want to do to each other.

It might sound kind of appealing to just let things be and hope that everything develops naturally, but we caution against choosing this as a course of action, for a lot of reasons!

First, you have to make sure she’s down for what you’re down for.

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If you have some awesome fantasies, this is a GREAT time to make sure that the girl you’re planning to see is also down for them. If not, you’re GOING to have to figure out a way to get off without it-or figure out another girl to have a hookup date with.

This is a casual sex date. This isn’t someone that’s going to be your sexual partner every day for years, it’s someone who’s going to hop into a bed with you for a few hours tonight.

This is NOT the person you want to spend a lot of time convincing to do something. You just want to have some fun and go your separate ways, occasionally meeting up again someday to have fun again-if you both feel like it. Keep the sex talk casual.

Instead of trying to badger a girl into trying your kinks, why not try out something new instead? You already know a bunch of what you like, but there’s always room to try out a few more.

Figure out her fantasies-and DELIVER.

If you want to try out something new, there’s no better way than by asking a girl what her fantasies are and fulfilling them. You might find a new favorite thing to do in bed-or, you might find out you aren’t really that into whatever it is she likes. Either way, you’ll probably have a lot of fun! Even better, the girl you’ve met has had a lot of fun, and she’ll probably want to try things out with you again next time!

Don’t limit yourself.

The top dating sites have babes that are down for ANYTHING, so don’t be surprised if you find stuff out you’ve never even heard of before. There are girls who are into everything you’ve ever thought was sexy, and girls who are into stuff that would make your jaw hang open in surprise.

Don’t be afraid to try out some stuff you haven’t considered before! If you’re doing it with a hot babe, we like to try out just about anything. Seriously, if it’s with a hot woman and you’re having good sex, how bad can it possibly be to try out a fantasy?

However, not everything is fun and games. You’re going to have to do a little negotiation, especially if she has any really hardcore kinks, or if she’s down for some of yours.

Talk kinks out in advance.

If either of you have kinks that require a lot of work or a lot of preparation, it’s important that you both know exactly how much is going into this before it actually happens.

If you’re doing something slightly unsafe, something that requires negotiated consent, or something that might get out of control, establish safe words. Establish boundaries. Establish any limits you might have, because you never know when you might need them. It’s better to be extra safe than it is to be sorry afterwards.

Besides, women are very positive about guys who want to make sure they’re safe. That’s a sign of maturity, and mature guys are guys that get to try out the REALLY kinky stuff!

Basically, you don’t want to be suddenly surprised when the girl you’re going home with pulls out a toy box and starts yanking out implements. You want to know what you’re getting into before you get to that point in the “relationship,” right?

So does she. Talk it out, and then have a blast!


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